And the beat goes on

For those of you have talked to me in the last few weeks will know that Katey has had a um, let's say, difficult time with her little dance class. Two weeks ago we ended up leaving class because she was sobbing so hard it became evident that really she was NOT going to dance and seriously, I just didn't have the energy to endure it. So...skip a week due to vacation and here were are..three days before class Katey is already proclaiming that she is "done with dance, not going back". My reaction "oh really? Well guess what honey? You are going to dance". So we talked the death out of the subject and I assured her that she did not have to dance...she simply needed to attend and watch and participate if she wanted to. Just please, no more tears. She made me promise to stand in the doorway (glass) so that she could see me at all times. Thankfully Makenna was in a very relaxed mood and she let me stand still for 45 minutes in that doorway keeping an eye on Katey and providing reassuring waves, smiles, claps and thumbs up every time she turned her head to see if I was there. I stood my post. My legs were numb from holding a 35 pound child and standing still for that long, but it was completely worth it. Katey was amazing and very brave. I loved watching her...she sat and watched. Then she sat and danced in her chair. Then she stood up by her chair and danced. Then she danced about three feet from her chair...and suddenly after two look backs at mom she was off...dancing, jumping, moving her arms and SMILING the entire time. I had to blink back tears at least three times because I was so proud of her. She was being brave and this was a big deal for her. It made me think about what it feels like to be shy and unsure of yourself. I was a very shy child-and I remember what it felt like to want to participate in something SO badly...but yet, my feet remained in one spot and I just couldn't do it. I was unsure of myself and self conscious. I see that in Katey and it melts my heart and breaks my heart all at the same time. I want her to grow up to be a strong and self assured person....and she will, I just have to remember that it doesn't happen overnight and it certainly didn't happen for me until I was well into my 20's and finally I started to really find myself after I became a mother. So Katey's dance class has turned out to be a great learning lesson for both us. Katey hopefully learned that doing new things can be fun. I learned that you can't force things and I need to embrace the little girl that Katey is-wonderful, sensitive, emotional, and a darn good dancer:)